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Resigning from a job is always difficult. No matter what your reasons for leaving or how excited you are about your new job, there's frequently some twinge of doubt or "buyer's remorse" as you are about to inform your employer of your decision to leave.

pull quote Your company has helped you progress professionally. Leaving a job means leaving managers and coworkers who you've come to know socially and who have been instrumental in advancing your career.

Today, changing jobs is a routine part of every growing professional career and most top executives agree that experience with several companies is considered an asset. In fact, too many years with one company can be a negative rather than a positive, as many employers feel that it indicates a lack of aggressiveness, or that someone who has been too long with one employer may have a difficult time adjusting to a new organization.

WHAT TO EXPECT

What then should you expect when you tender your resignation? Undoubtedly, your company will be sorry to lose you. After all, you have contributed to their profits and you are probably involved in several projects that won't be easily taken over by your replacement.

THE COUNTER OFFER

It is natural instinct to resist change and avoid disruption, and your present employer will be no exception. If you're doing a good job, he will want to keep you, and may attempt to do so by employing a variety of common techniques, including the counter offer. These methods of persuading an employee not to leave the company are even taught in some management courses.

Here are some of the approaches frequently used:

"We have plans for you that have been scheduled for implementation in the near future. I guess it's my fault for not telling you sooner."
"I want to let you in on some confidential information. There is a reorganization developing that will mean a significant promotion for you within the next few months."
"We'll match (or beat) your new offer. We agree that your salary isn't up to what it should be for the job you're doing and we intend to make it up to you."
"We'll match your new offer. This raise was supposed to go into effect the first of next quarter anyway, but because of your fine record, we'll move it up to the beginning of the next pay period."
"The President and Vice President want to have dinner with you tonight before you make your final decision."
"You're not going to work for that outfit are you? The word is that they have a lot of problems over there."

EVALUATING THE COUNTER OFFER

A counter offer can be very flattering, sometimes causing your emotions to obscure your objective decision to leave your present employer. You may begin to wonder if you misjudged your employer or their opinion of you. But when confronted with a counter offer, ask yourself these questions:

I made a decision to leave because I felt another environment would better fill my career needs. If I stay, will the situation really improve just because I said I was quitting?
If I stay, will my loyalty be suspect? If the company is considering me and another employee for the same promotion, will this give the edge to the other employee?
If my loyalty is in question and the company is someday forced to lay someone off because of a merger or a slowdown in business, will this put me on top of the list of people to let go?
If I'm really worth more money (or a promotion) to them, why did I have to quit my job to get it? Is this an indication of company-wide management problems or a tight fist with money?
They're offering me more money to stay. Is it my annual review coming early?
The raise they offered me to stay is above their normal salary range for my job. Are they just "buying time" until they can find a replacement for me within their regular salary guidelines?
After the relief of not having to look for and train my replacement wears off, will they think that I just used this new job offer to force them to give me a raise or a promotion and resent me for it?
In the final analysis, I got this counter offer because I resigned. Will I have to threaten to quit every time I want to get the money or promotion that I deserve?

THE PROFESSIONAL APPROACH

As a professional, you must make your career decisions objectively, free of the emotional pressures you are likely to feel later when being urged to reconsider. While well meaning friends, relatives & business associates will offer advice, you must depend primarily on your own judgment. After all, you are the only one who is in the position to understand all of the implications of a counter offer, and you are the only one who met with your new employer and has a feel for the people and the opportunity that your new company has to offer.

Expect your company to be sorry to see you leave and to make some attempt to keep you. But counter offers, at best, should be considered flattering but belated affirmation of your contributions to your old company, and beset with pitfalls that you should not risk.

End your relationship with your old employer as professionally as you began it. Your new company will be anxious to have you start, so do so as soon as possible. You should always give your employer two weeks notice, but never longer. Move ahead to your new job with the goal of making yourself as valuable to your new employer as you were to your old.